Criminal Report 06-04-07

Criminal Report
Friday night
6th of April 2007
Local Police Station, Rønde, Mols

20:53 Pirates are seen disembarking in Kalø Vig, roaming and shouting “landlubbers”. They used what several locals described as “strange voices and unknown dialects”. When the police arrived, everything had calmed down.

21:17 Peder from the vicarage reported that his hammer and two newly bought boxes of nails were stolen from his garage. The police will take action on this crime later since we are low on resources due to the Easter holidays.

21:23 A neighbour of The European Folk Highschool reported what he saw as “suspicious people on the highschools area, running around with spears claiming to stick magic rings”. To him it looked threatening.

22:07 Local woman from Rønde with dog saw mysterious smoke while she was taking a walk along the main road. She decided to take a further look, saw a heavy fire and called the police. We appreciate her quick and brave reaction that prevented the fire that could have spread to local farms and barns.

23:00 Pirate called 911(112) numerous times claiming that he can’t reach his wife and six children, since they are locked into a red official Danish mail box.

23:30 Reports on corrupted competition at a private party at the European folk high school.

05:00 Local farmer was sexually molested by, what he described as, a ”drunken gay pirate, probably schizophrenic”.

Local policeofficers Kaspar & Signe